Okay.
I was fortunate enough, whenever I had to go around, to be flying in a helicopter, but when we were engaged with ground air attacks, I felt helpless. I was basically at the mercy of the door gunners. It gives you a sense of no control. You're at their will. You can't do anything, right?
I feel bad; I have survivor's guilt because a lot of my friends died over there doing, I feel, a lot more important job and a harder job than I did, and I feel bad because here I am having problems.