Mr. Speaker, I just received a letter to Santa from the member for LaSalle—Émard. It reads, “Dear Santa, I really have been a good boy this year, getting kicked out of cabinet was not my fault. It is just that the Prime Minister got a little miffed when I kept sitting in his chair and moving my stuff into his office. I mean, it is only another 14 months before they are all mine anyway.
As for that hefty air security tax on every flight in Canada, while I did introduce that tax, it is the current finance minister's fault that they have not been reduced.
As for that billion dollars I shovelled into the gun registry, that is really the fault of the current ministers of industry, health and justice. I always exercise fiscal prudence; too bad they did not do the same.
Can you please keep the media taking those nice pictures of me flipping burgers or making public statements, but for those mean ones who actually ask me policy questions, just give them a lump of coal.
Actually you can send everybody who opposes my coronation a lump of coal, because when I'm in charge I will tax every piece of carbon in the country so we can meet our Kyoto commitments”.