Right. I can tell you that, with my approach, even attorneys will ask to approach the bench and they'll say, “Your Honour, how did you get this information out of my client when I've met with them half a dozen times and I never learned that?” I say it's the open-ended questions. You have to listen. You have to believe. You have to tell them you are willing, no matter what they say, to hear their truth. It's not your story. I create that and I can tell you that over 20 years I have heard things that astonish people, that I got that information. I hope that's what you do.
I did that in my practice. I did it in my 20 years in the military. I've done it on the bench. These open-ended questions, listening, eye-to-eye contact, paying attention and giving them uplifting.... I tell them, “Thank you for being here. Your story is so important. You matter. I know it's difficult to come forward, but I want you to know you are the superhero. You speak for so many who cannot have a voice and who do not have a voice. Thank you for being their voice.”
They come to me and they write me letters across the world saying, “I heard what you said; I'm not committing suicide today. I heard what they said; they spoke my words. I'm going to get help.”
That's what you need in sport. Listen, be the voice, be the healer and be the hammer.