Thank you for having me here today. I'm Mary Pidlaski. I'm here as a board member from Villa Rosa Inc., in Winnipeg. It's a non-profit organization. It's a convalescent home for unwed mothers. It's been around since the late 1800s, serving women who may live there while they choose to parent or to place their child for adoption.
It will help to explain a little on how I became involved with them.
I grew up in suburban Winnipeg, in a middle-class family with two parents. I was an A+ student, but somehow things didn't go as planned, and I ended up as a ward of Child and Family Services by the time I was 14. I lived in group homes until I was 16, and I rented my first apartment shortly afterward through a program called independent living. However, it was when I moved into a group home that things really took a turn.
If I was not behaving well beforehand, it jumped to an entirely new level when I was mixed with others who had a worse upbringing than my own. My marks in school plummeted, and on more than one occasion my experimentation with substances extended to a place that it could have ended my life. I felt that I had not much to live for, and struggled with the fact that the people who worked where I lived got to go home to a very different life at the end of the day.
Despite this, I always had an interest in the arts, dance specifically. One summer, I attended a work experience program through the YMCA that was recommended by one of the workers. I made $700, and I saved every penny. I went to the Royal Winnipeg Ballet School on registration day, and I lied about my past experience. I registered for the most classes that a person could register for in a week for the entire next year, but I came up short in my funds. I'm still not sure how this happened, but somehow Child and Family Services teamed together with my parents, and each came up with another $700 to pay for my tuition.
The teachers very quickly learned that I had little experience but that I worked really hard. I wanted it badly, and by the end of the year I had acquired a scholarship to continue my studies. I was able to become a leader to my peers, and my teachers taught me to leave my problems outside the door. I think that without a strong connection to family, there will always be challenges, but I don't think family has to be your biological one. Dance was like that family that always welcomed me back.
Eventually, I left Winnipeg to dance professionally elsewhere, and I did so for a time, but some of these unhealthy behaviours crept back and I needed to go back to Winnipeg. I found out that I was pregnant the day I returned, and I tried to live with my family, but it was not a healthy situation. Someone had recommended Villa Rosa, and I applied. It must have been the next day or two when I moved in.
The first parts were somewhat of a blur, but some of the things I gained from being there were that I had been afraid to find out how many credits I needed to graduate. I only needed two. They helped me with that, and I graduated from high school. I bonded with a roommate who had a similar situation. I ate healthy food, learned parenting skills, and I feel I learned the best practices for raising my child, who is now 13. Consistently, I had this help. Villa was always there for me, and I still feel that support today.
After this, I had to navigate through welfare systems, low-income housing, and subsidized day care programs. Being in that situation, I did feel it was somewhat degrading, as there is a stigma involved. I'd hear, “People on welfare abuse the system. Why should we give them money? I work hard, and they should too.”
There is not a lot of incentive for a person to get off welfare. I was someone who always had a job while I was on social assistance, but much of my money was given back to them. One year, I made $8,000 for myself and my son. It's hard for me to imagine that a person would abuse a system like that, because that's almost not even possible.
At one point, I received an amazing job offer teaching dance through one of our school divisions, but I was unable to find the day care that I needed with the schedule that the job was offering. At the time, I was not living at Villa Rosa anymore, but I still had support, and one of the workers was trying to help me find ways to get more training and further my life. We discovered that just across the hall in the same building as the employment and income assistance office was a Service Canada program that I could apply for to further my training, which I did. I was able to acquire much more employment. Eventually I taught myself and got myself out of poverty, but I found it odd that one side of the building would have no idea what was happening on the other side of the building.
I've been on faculty at the Royal Winnipeg Ballet school. I've been a fully certified Stott Pilates instructor. Much of my training has come from the support of the government and the people who have worked in those programs.
Today I'm a realtor. I have been selling homes for seven years, and I focus on how I can help another person. Many months are quiet, and I've learned to keep busy through volunteer work. I've always wanted to give back, and someone at Villa Rosa suggested that I apply. That's how I came to be a board member there, and I am so glad I did.
I'm in a leadership program through the Chamber of Commerce, and we're learning about many of the amazing inner workings of our city. If these programs hadn't existed and someone hadn't believed in me, I wouldn't be contributing to society today. I'm not even sure I would be alive.
I'm so glad that you have let me share my story today. I hope that this may help some other families and that I can be somewhat of a voice for them. I feel that a strong bond, a strong connection to each other, creates a healthy society, and I wonder if we can start by fixing the person while they are still in the womb.
Thank you.