My name is Kathy Leeder, and Matthew is my son. He suffered two concussions playing hockey. I feel really lucky that Matthew and his brain have fully recovered and that he does not have residual concussion symptoms. I'm also sad that he no longer plays a sport that he loves. Today he is a well-rounded person, student and athlete participating in tennis, golf, basketball and swimming, but protecting his brain is always on our mind and his.
I was at the game when Matthew was first injured. I didn't see the hit, but the reaction of the crowd followed by silence made me aware that a player was hurt. Within a fraction of a second, I was able to determine that it was Matthew, because I did not see number 15 on the bench. The coaching staff helped Matthew off the ice, and I was desperate to scale the glass and claw my way through the mesh at the top.
I do not remember getting to dressing room. I do remember seeing Matthew holding his head and crying. He looked up and urgently tried to tell me something, but I couldn't understand because his words did not make sense. They were gibberish. The game kept going, but Matthew's would be paused for the next six weeks.
In any hockey arena, you will find physician parents always willing to lend a hand, as was the case that evening, and I heard, “Don't waste your time in the ER. Make sure you wake him up every hour. If he starts vomiting, and his pupils are shot, he might have a brain bleed. He'll be fine in the morning. He didn't lose consciousness, he just got clocked.”
The next few days we spent seeking medical help and searching the Internet for information surrounding concussions. Up until that point, we didn't know much about concussions except that they happen to other people, not our son.
My husband is a physician, and a colleague with experience in concussions diagnosed Matthew. We were told to keep him in low light with little activity until his symptoms went away. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming. You couldn't use a medication, and a band-aid certainly was not going to help. The buzzing and pain in his head as well as the sensitivity to light and sound were too much for him to handle. He would feel better and then he would feel worse. He would sleep and then he would not.
His team moved on, but he stayed paused. He couldn't play, read, watch TV, study, listen or play music, use the PS4 or go outside. His brother thought he was faking, and that made him really mad, but he couldn't even beat him up. Finally, Matthew felt better. He was cleared to return to his life and the ice.
The opportunity he had as a junior reporter had us all learn about concussions and how injury was viewed in hockey. There are some common symptoms with a concussion, but everyone is different. Matthew spent the summer learning, interviewing and educating the league about concussions and the new protocol, trying to make a difference.
During that hockey season in January of 2017, two days after he turned 12, I saw Matthew hit in the head by the shoulder of another player just seconds before the final buzzer. The game ended, and I screamed as my son fell to the ice. The referees helped him to the dressing room, and I knew it wasn't good. The next day, Matthew was diagnosed with a concussion, and his life was paused again. This time we knew more. This time we had the resources of Holland Bloorview and their concussion centre to help us.
This concussion was similar but different than the last. There was buzzing in his ears, headache, nausea and fogginess, but something different. Matthew had lost the ability to read. “That wasn't on the list of symptoms”, I kept saying. He said he saw squiggly lines and dots, but that they didn't connect and they didn't make sense. I literally collapsed inside.
After speaking with the specialists, we found out that, while it was not on the list, Matthew's brain would probably heal if we just gave it time. Luckily a few days passed, and to our delight, he walked around reading everything in sight.
After four weeks, Matthew's symptoms abated and he felt better. He was cleared to return to his life, but this time with a twist. Matthew would not be returning to the ice. He had decided to retire. He tried to go to games to cheer his brother and his teammates on, but it was too emotionally painful.
Feeling sad but not defeated, I was proud to help Matthew make a video for parents and kids with helpful hints on how to recover from a concussion. Together, he and I have worked with different teams at Holland Bloorview to help parents, kids and health care providers understand this injury and its impacts on kids and families.
I had a suggestion or just a way of connecting what I would like to see happen.
In the workplace, we're required to provide safe work. We look at how work is done and design the job to ensure that the worker and the environment are safe. Personal protective equipment is to be considered the last line of defence or the last resort to ensure safety.
Hockey is a high-speed collision sport with lots of intensity, placing players at risk for injury. It's unnerving when parents and players are looking to helmets, mouthguards and special jerseys for protection from concussion. I think we should take a look at how we design the game, and how we play hockey. The culture needs to change.
When Matthew was a junior reporter, he developed a tag line for his videos. The tag line was, “Respect your sport, play smart, play safe”. Parents are key stakeholders who need to be engaged to make this a reality. They should be educated to ensure that the safety of their players are maintained so they can play another day.
What a shift, where parents would demand safety rather than more ice time, where there would be no badge of honour, to shake it off and take the next shift.
Thank you for listening.