Oh, I'm sorry. Sure.
Would you like me to back up a couple of lines? No?
I had been using drugs and alcohol for 7 years. I was just 19 years old at this time. I had no skills to know how to live a productive life, let alone how to take care of a child. I was also paranoid, and in a constant state of panic.
When I came to Food for Thought, I felt like I was welcomed and more importantly, I felt safe. I felt like I could come to the program and I was respected (which was odd for me, because at this point I did not even have respect for myself.) It was also one of the first experiences that I had that I could go somewhere and nobody wanted anything from me. My transportation was paid for, I was able to help prepare a meal to take home for free, and I could participate in discussions with other people as much or as little as I wanted. I loved the truly positive environment of Food for Thought. I have learned how important it is to feed my children quality food, and how to afford to do so. I have learned how to make babyfood and what my kids and I need to eat to be healthy. Looking back I can see how extremely beneficial it is to have that wealth of knowledge at my fingertips.
Honestly, my cooking skills were the least reason I came to Food for Thought. I came because it was somewhere safe to go, and I was able to access things I couldn't on my own. My babies were able to get immunized, I had support with breastfeeding, I could talk to a nurse or doctor about any concerns, and I created friendships with women who I could relate to. What had the most impact on me however, was the information. I learned how to treat myself with love, with respect and that I had value.
A huge part of what made Food for Thought feel like a safe place was the peer leaders, I still remember looking at them in awe and admiration, they all had been through similar hardships and difficulties, and were in the same social class as me, and they were volunteering and helping out and providing a bridge for me to talk to and relate to, and I figured if they were trusting of the staff members I might be able to trust the staff too. It was so cool to perceive people who had a position in the program as equals, not all just grownups with degrees.
Over the next while, I did come to trust the staff, and they also became (and definitely continue to be) pillars of support to help me with whatever life threw at me. When I was asked to become a peer leader I was so honoured, and at the same time I couldn't believe that someone saw the qualities in me that I saw in the other peer leaders.
I am now eleven months away from receiving a degree in social work. I am a trained labour doula, a mother of three children and engaged to be married. I have material possessions that I never even dreamed of owning. I am still a peer leader with food for thought. The past 6 years have been hard, full of trials and tribulations. When I thought I should go back to school and get my grade twelve, I had a group of women tell me, I know you can, and you will succeed. When I mentioned I thought it was cool to be a doula, I was told I know you can do that and you would be great at it. When I thought I should go to university, and maybe I could be a social worker, I was again told, you can do that, and I did.
From the manager, to the program facilitators, to peer leaders to participants, my life was created within this program. I did not know how to live a productive meaningful life when I first came here. Sometimes I still am unsure of what that means or how to do it... But I always know where the door is always open, and love, respect and kindness will be in abundance. That's why I haven't left, and why I probably never will.
Thank you for your time and attention.