Thank you for this opportunity.
My name is Loretta Fearman—pronouns she/her. I am the proud parent of a gay son and a lesbian daughter. I co-facilitate Pflag Barrie-Simcoe County, which we started three years ago after attending parenting LGBTQ2I youth workshops in Midland, Orillia and Barrie. We recognized the need for peer-to-peer support for those who are raising LGBTQ2I youth, more specifically, families raising transgender youth.
I present today a snapshot of the lives of three of our families—the names have been changed—and I offer recommendations necessary for our youth to survive and thrive.
Here is our first family. Sarah is an intersex youth, assigned male at birth, living in Barrie—pronouns she/her. Sarah's mother writes that for years they knew that something was different about their child. When she started puberty, they knew something wasn't right. They asked the family doctor about the lack of genital growth. She said it was nothing to be concerned about. A few years later, Sarah started questioning her sexual orientation, and soon thereafter her gender identity. The doctor referred them to the Transgender Youth Clinic at the Hospital for Sick Children. Sarah was no longer identifying with her gender assigned at birth.
After several appointments and blood work, the results showed that her hormone levels were off, and she was diagnosed with partial androgen insensitivity syndrome, a type of intersex condition. If doctors were more aware of the spectrum of intersex conditions, Sarah could have benefited by going on hormone blockers at a younger age.
There is much stigma about being intersex. They are not accepted by cisgender folks, and they are not accepted by the trans community. That is why many intersex people, like Sarah, choose to identify solely as trans. Intersex folks need validation and acceptance. Life has been stressful for Sarah. She experiences shame, guilt and anxiety, and her depression has made it difficult for her to go to school. She has started self-harming and has been on suicide watch several times. Her mother still cannot go to bed until Sarah has fallen asleep. Sometimes it's not until 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning.
Next we have Joe. Joe is a cisgender gay youth living in the Blue Mountains area. Joe struggled with coming out. He finally came out to his mother, Nancy, at age 14 and immediately asked for conversion therapy because he did not want to be gay. Joe was taken to a therapist prior to seeking out conversion therapy. The therapist told him that conversion therapy does not work and has caused extreme harm to individuals. He insisted that only his mom know that he is gay. The unawareness has put an excessive amount of stress on his family.
Joe's grades have declined, and he regularly skips school. Now, at age 15, he has started using drugs to self-medicate and has moved out of the house. His parents worry every day for his safety.
Nancy has reached out to various agencies for help. She started with New Path, an organization that works on a first-come, first-served basis. After a long wait and much paperwork, they referred her to the Canadian Mental Health Association, only for her to be told that Joe must be the one to request help.
The Georgian Bay Family Health Team helped when Joe was suicidal. However, when it came to long-term counselling, the family was referred to the CMHA in Barrie, 50 minutes from where they live. Not having a local agency proves difficult for Joe and his family. Nancy tells me that her family is in crisis and that they do not know where to turn, so she continues to make calls.
Joe is one of our fortunate youth because his family loves and accepts him. There are many LGBTQ2I youth who have been kicked out of the house by unaccepting parents.
We know that approximately 40% of the homeless youth identify as LGBTQ2I. We know that we live in a heteronormative society, and we know that for many LGBTQ2I folks, stigma still exists, contributing to their shame, self-denial, internalized homophobia-transphobia, self-harming, anxiety, depression and suicide.
Education in Canadian schools is essential to normalize gender diversity and provide an understanding of diverse sexual orientations. When youth talk about their experiences and identity freely without shame and fear, it makes them feel normal.
Here is our third family. Tom, 16 years old, is a transgender boy—pronouns he and him—living in Simcoe County. Tom's mother has shared their story. Tom did not identify with his assigned-at-birth gender, but due to a lack of education and resources, it wasn't until grade 9, at age 14, that he realized what it meant to be transgender. After extensive research, they asked their family doctor for a referral to a local medical doctor who specializes in transgender patients. Several months later, they got an appointment. On April 21, 2017, Tom began taking testosterone.
When they sought a referral for top surgery, they decided to go to Montreal, since Toronto wait times were one year longer. The medical documentation required for surgery approval was arduous. It resulted in multiple visits to several professionals simply for the purpose of filling out paperwork. The wait for approval was significant. Once approved, only then could Tom go on the wait-list at the Montreal clinic. OHIP's predetermination for surgery is valid for only two years. Fortunately, it did not expire, but during this wait time, Tom became increasingly depressed. He had to be hospitalized and was put on suicide watch.
Tom had top surgery in July 2018 in Montreal. This required time off work. All expenses were paid out of pocket. The surgery was successful. Tom became a different person. Today Tom is a confident boy who no longer needs mental health counselling in Whitby for body dysphoria. He no longer takes prescription medications for his depression. Tom doesn't need to waste a half hour every morning taping and every evening removing the binding tape from his raw skin.
Tom has since switched to a local doctor who specializes in pediatric endocrinology. In February 2019, they submitted the paperwork to OHIP for approval of Tom's next surgery, a total hysterectomy, this time in Toronto. They recently received the approval from OHIP, but again, it's valid for two years. They now wait for his surgery date. Tom's wait times so far have been far less than other transgender folks in similar situations. However, any delays for support and medical care that could detain him from feeling his authentic self have been extremely difficult on their family, but primarily on him. They say they can only imagine what families who have different economic circumstances and longer wait times must face when it comes to the safety and mental health of their loved ones who are seeking surgery.
We have a number of recommendations.
We need medical and support staff to be cognizant of using correct pronouns, preferred names and current terminology.
We need gender and sexual diversity included as part of health education taught in Canadian public schools and in post-secondary medical training. We would like hospitals to form committees that include LGBTQ2I folk, much like Orillia Soldiers’ Memorial Hospital has adopted.
We would like to ask that there be adequate funding to support ongoing programs in such LGBTQI organizations as Rainbow Health, Egale, AIDS committees, and regional organizations like the Gilbert Centre. They are essential for the community to survive and thrive.
We need hospitals in every province where gender confirmation surgery is accessible and affordable so that dangerously long wait times are reduced. We need mental health care for ages two to 24. Currently, there is a gap for children under the age of 14, and more support is needed for our youth who are 14 and older.
Finally, we would like to see ongoing media campaigns resembling the new LBGTQ2 commemorative loonie—“50 years of progress”—where facts are shared in a positive manner to educate the public.
Thank you.