Thank you. We'll take our quick seven minutes here just to give you an idea of our story.
Picture yourself the day after you've lost your four-month-old child. What does that look like? What goes through your mind? Your child is gone. You have to tell your friends and family. You have to explain death to your other child and why her sister is gone. A husband has to tell his work why he can't come in. Your wife's breasts ache to feed your baby, because that doesn't end with the death of a child.
What do you do now? Why don't I feel like getting out of bed? Did we eat today? What day is it? How do we get through the next few minutes, let alone weeks or months? Is there someone else like me? This hasn't happened to anyone else I know.
What doesn't go through your mind is: Who do I call about parental benefits? Do I need to inform anyone? What happens if I get another payment now that my child is gone? How do I pay my bills?
I can't answer the first questions for you. I still don't have all of the answers, but I'd like to talk to you about the things you don't think of.
When your child dies, parental benefits are cut off. If you do not inform the federal government of the loss and you receive any other payment, you'll be required to repay it. In 2014, we had to pay back January's child tax credit. Quinn died on December 28. On January 3 we had her funeral and on January 5 we stood in line at Service Canada. The employee told us we were lucky that we didn't have to pay back the next week's benefit. The words she used were “Your child ceases to exist, so therefore the benefits will cease to exist.”
Your bills will continue to come to you. The world doesn't stop. This means that most Canadian families will be required to return to work long before they're ready.
We are personally blessed with an amazing support system. Our family and friends rallied around us and cared for us. We had people to ask the right questions and sit on hold with Service Canada to get the answers, and still we had to go to the office. I personally know families that had to pay back one, two, three, or even more months of benefits. We have family members who would pay our bills out of their own pocket so that we could have the time to grieve. I know of families that have had to return to work the next week because they couldn't afford to be off.
The trauma of losing a child is not something that should be taken lightly. The victim of an accident is covered by disability insurance and someone who has lost a limb is covered, but someone who is not in their right mind because of their loss has nothing.
We're asking for a commitment of 12 weeks out of the lifetime that should have been spent. The federal government is already committed to funding 12 months of dirty diapers and sleepless nights. We're asking for a commitment of 12 weeks of tears and sorrow, remembering and grieving.