The study you're referring to is from 2010, but the situation is still the same. If we were to do the same study today, we would see that the services are still not well known and are poorly spread out throughout Quebec and elsewhere in Canada.
The provinces that provide the most support after perinatal death are Quebec, Ontario and British Columbia. New Brunswick also provides some services.
There is not only one solution; it's multiple solutions. Yes, Service Canada can answer questions, but it takes training. You need to train those people who answer the phone.
We're in a death denying society. In that society there is no space for death, so it's very easy to go.... When anybody who loses a close one goes back to work, for a day or two, people will ask, “How are you?” The week after, they expect the person to be just as productive as if nothing happened in his or her life.
Death is unsettling. It's unsettling when it's a child. It's unsettling when it's a parent, when it's a sibling. We need to have space to go through these emotions, to integrate them in our lives so that we can end up being more productive.
Going back to work too quickly when you don't feel like going back to work will only mean that you're going to be there, present, and not doing much, just acting. Some fathers shared that they lost their job after losing their baby because they went back to work too quickly and they were not really as passionate about their work or as productive as they used to be.
We need to have this time, and the time is different for everyone.
I disagree with Dr. Dyregrov that they should all go back to work quickly. Some of them need to go back to work quickly, but we also find in the parents who we support that when the men go back quickly.... The women oftentimes will have some kind of leave because they gave birth and they have postpartum symptoms. Even though the pregnancy was only 16 weeks and they don't have the benefits, they have postpartum changes in their body, so they can produce milk, and they'll have different kinds of hormonal changes that they go through, so they will more easily get medical leave from their physician than the men will. When the men go back to work, they distance one another in their relationships.