Well, I definitely think it's individual, just as I know grief is individual. For my husband, he returned to work three weeks after the loss of Hazel. I like the idea with Motion No. 110 of at least a bit of a grace period. It's just a bit of time that the government is saying, “Listen, we know that returning to work right now is not the best thing for you.” However, people also have the choice to return to work and to not take that benefit. That would be a choice for them.
For me, I did take those extra two years. I think it really depends, for the families, what choice of work they're in. For one, I actually had a subsequent child in those two years and I would not have been able to return with a newborn baby. I do think that every situation is different, but I think that providing a little bit of a grace period....
I don't think that saying 12 weeks or 15 weeks or whatever number of weeks is saying that you're going to get over this or be done with your grief, but I think it's a way of showing some support for those families to access some of those supports that are hopefully available.
I'm quite lucky being in Calgary. I'm finding that in being part of Hazel's Heroes and hearing from families all across Canada, even in the States, I hear about the different supports offered in their cities and their provinces. I have been very lucky in Calgary to receive free grief counselling through the Rotary Flames House. I know that's not even an option in some of the capital cities across Canada. I think that's an area that we need.... I don't know if the government could look at how it's supporting some of the mental health side of things.
As I said, it's even just a simple thing. Obviously, the teller didn't know what to say, and that's very normal. People don't know what to say when it comes to grief and child loss. I think that forcing a parent to go out in public in those early weeks of grief seems like a cruel and unusual punishment. I almost wanted to wear a sign that said, “My child just died”, just so people could understand not to even ask me, “How are you doing today?” Someone at the grocery store was packing my groceries and saying, “How are you today?” I couldn't even respond, “Fine.” I would just stare and want to be sick right there. The amount of extreme social anxiety you get, I can't even explain. I had no idea that was something that would happen.
To tell people that they can't pay this online, that they have to go into a bank where they'd just set up an RESP for their child, that adds a lot of cruelty. I think that could be easily resolved by there being an online option. That's one simple thing that I think should be changed quickly.