After being cycled through youth shelters and being homeless and all of that, I was put in an apartment on the ministry's agreement. I had been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. I spent six years in complete social isolation because I was out of physical harm, but I was.... You know, the things that my parents and their friends did were extensive.
It was six years, multiple suicide attempts, a lot of self-harm, and then I got to this one moment where I was pretty much ready to end it for the final time. What I learned is that it's actually harder to do. Physically, it's harder to kill yourself than the media may portray. I had three methods lined up, and I was about to do it. I got to this moment, and I just realized that if I did, my parents wouldn't have just taken away those years that I had lived, but they would have taken away all the years to come.
The next day I left my apartment for the first time in I can't say how long, and looked into ways to go to school to change the way that we work with youth. I did that. I graduated as valedictorian and then literally went to every organization. I wanted long-term housing for youth. I basically knocked on everybody's door and told them my story and what I wanted to do, and then I met Christian. He was the first one who said, “I don't know how I am going to help you, but I will find a way to do that.” It was finding that support .
It was also knowing that right now there are still 16 youth on the streets in Maple Ridge who are feeling the same way. I guess, to be honest, I just wanted to find a way so that no other kid had to feel every single day like they were worthless.
When we lost Iron Horse, that was really hard. Iron Horse was the only youth shelter in B.C. that allowed you to stay for a month, 30 days. It was the only time that I actually really slept. In all the other ones, I couldn't do it because I didn't feel safe. It took a couple of weeks to start to build up trust with somebody else, but it was that long-term...and having a youth worker kind of advocate.
It's so hard now to do this job knowing how all those kids feel. I think what makes it worth it for me, though, is just having to believe beyond anything else that there is a better way to do this. We have to step up and share our stories and share the actual hard truth, even though it's hard for people to hear. I think that's the only way that things are going to change.
I think that's kind of what got me to where I am now.