Good afternoon. Thank you for the invitation.
My name is Susan Westhaver. I'm a client volunteer with the Langley Hospice Society. Earlier this year, I was asked by the society to share my personal hospice experience at a fundraising announcement and press conference for their new 15-bed free-standing hospice residence for our community. I would like to share that speech with you now.
When you hear the word “hospice”, you think of a place where people go to die, and it is, but it is so much more than that. Hospice care is an experience not only for the dying, but for the family and friends who are left behind when their loved one has moved on.
Bob was dying of cancer. Dr. Adamson came to our home and met with us. Part of the conversation was about where Bob wanted to die: home, hospital, or hospice? We had heard of hospice but really didn't know much about it. Dr. Adamson encouraged us to visit the hospice residence and see how Bob felt about it. We did go and visit, although he was not yet ready to be admitted; we were still managing at home. We were given a tour by a hospice volunteer and afterwards felt very good about the decision to go there when the time came.
Well, that time came in a very few short months. It was becoming more challenging caring for Bob at home. Medications were getting more complicated and frustrations often ran high. Bob was admitted into a shared room on a Friday afternoon. The nurses and volunteers were amazing and made us feel welcome. Leaving that evening to come home without him was very difficult, but I had a good sleep that night, the first in a long while, and so did Bob. The nurses had his pain under control. We knew he was in good hands and well looked after.
Eventually, Bob was moved into a private room. This allowed our family and friends to come and go without interrupting the other patients, and gave us privacy when quiet time was needed. That room became our new home for more than four months. Going into hospice was the best thing that happened to us during that difficult time. Being a caregiver isn't an easy job, and having the opportunity to leave his medical and physical care to the nurses gave us quality time together in those last months of his life. That was truly a blessing and allowed us to bring our relationship back full circle.
Because of the care we both received during Bob's stay in hospice and the support I continued to receive after his death, it was an easy decision for me to take the hospice training and become a volunteer at the hospice residence. Going through those doors always brings me a sense of peace, but as much as I love that residence and its special warmth, I look forward to a new residence where each of our patients and their loved ones will have a private room and access to the outdoors and common areas. There they will be in beautiful surroundings with the loving care from volunteers and staff to help them along as they experience together that final journey that is so personal and sacred.
I was 56 years old when Bob died. It was a six-and-a-half-year journey of radiation, chemo, remissions, more chemo, and then hospice care. That experience was difficult enough for a reasonably young and healthy person; our seniors cannot process the stresses that caregiving for a loved one with a terminal illness can bring. As I age myself, and in my experiences as a volunteer supporting patients who are dying, and their caregivers, I know how important it is to provide support and ease their stress during this difficult journey.
In hospice, we have young people, old people, and in-between people. The one thing they all have in common is that they still have some life left to live. It is my honour to walk with them through this time and hopefully ease some of those stresses.
Some people are transferred from hospital to hospice. Palliative care is provided to individuals who have a terminal illness at different stages of their journey at home, in the hospital, or in hospice environment.
In the hospice residence, caregivers and family can stay 24 hours a day with their loved one. There is a sofa bed in every room for overnight stays. This brings great comfort, oftentimes more for the spouses, as they can witness the care given to their wife or husband and feel relief. They can stay by their side.
Our family room provides a homelike environment where meals can be shared and birthdays celebrated. It's a place for singalongs, piano playing, and oftentimes fellowship and support from strangers who are experiencing this journey at the same time.
The Langley Hospice Society's mission is to provide compassionate support to help people live with dignity and hope while coping with grief at the end of life. As a hospice volunteer, I know dying with dignity can mean different things to different people. In my volunteer role, I try to bring dignity to our patients through personal care, which can involve listening to their life stories. Our seniors were once young and have many stories to share. Their stories are part of the legacies they leave behind.
Hospice isn't just about dying. It's about living right to the end. These individuals have things to share and advice to offer, and we need to honour and respect their voice.
I can help in all kinds of ways, such as getting their dentures for them so they have their teeth in when company is coming, offering that company a cup of tea as she would have done if she were in her own home entertaining guests, perhaps shampooing her hair so she feels better, and as things move along, making sure her blankets have not moved to expose a body part that she would prefer to keep covered.
I used to sit guard outside Bob’s room when he was in a deep sleep and was wide-open mouth-breathing. He would not have wanted people to see him like that. I felt I was protecting his dignity.
Being a senior brings many changes in life, and new challenges. The huge challenge of continuing on without the person you have spent your life with can be overwhelming. Seniors are even more vulnerable to loneliness and seclusion. The care and support that the hospice society provides for those who have experienced the death of a loved one are invaluable. The grief support programs and services offer a chance to share one-on-one with a counsellor or in a group setting. Care continues. Life continues. Honouring that life up to the last moment is the most we can give a dying person, just as we would want for our loved ones and ourselves.
Thank you.