The simple answer is this: It's not simply proposed section 18; there are a series of interlocking flaws with the bill. One of the other witnesses mentioned that you have to look at this bill in a totality. The clauses work together, so there are, as you have stated, many places where amendments could be used to strengthen the bill.
Adding the fundamental right to privacy is an important one. I would reiterate my comment that it really needs to be embedded more substantively within the bill, precisely for the reason you've identified. One of the ostensible purposes of the bill is to balance what is now an individual's right to privacy with a business's interest in collecting and using information. To make sure we get that balance right, we need to make sure that the weighting of an individual's right is proportionate to the way we're looking at the business's interest. Adding that fundamental language is important, and there are a number of places—which I'd be happy to document in writing later—where I think the bill could be improved by adding it.