Sorry about that.
One thing that I should mention about Rwandan culture is that women are often valued by the fact that they have children. If you have a child, that's marvellous. If you have 10 children, that's fantastic. That factors in, which might sound very peculiar, quite well in regard to helping the mother to connect with the child. Often these women can come to a position where they realize that the child is a gift, no matter what the condition of the way the child was conceived. This was a gift and this gift was entrusted to her, and it is a blessing.
If you come to that position it's a lot easier to care for your child and love your child. Not all women get to this place obviously. Of the women I've worked with maybe half of them have come to that position. That piece of Rwandan culture has factored in well to a mother relating to a child, but the psychotherapy has helped tremendously. It's helping the women to get in touch with their anger and everything that's come out of the trauma that was experienced and begin to realize the child is not the reason for their anger. That's hugely healing. Then to have the child...as the mother receives the child, the child then opens to the mother.
There's always the issue of who the dad is; the child wants to know the dad. That's an issue I think every child has. There is always that little bit of contention there, but it is interesting the more you get people to talk.