First I want to say that at the time, I thought I was the problem. That is what many women think today. I thought I was causing the abuse, whether it was rape or other misconduct, rejection, or the way my colleagues treated me. I told myself I was new, that I was blazing a trail, that I was the first, and that because of that they did not understand, but that they would get used to me. That was the first reason.
The second was that I could not complain to a commander who did not believe in what I represented as a woman in the infantry. I did not think I would be supported.
The third reason was that there were a million transgressions. How could I go to the commander and say that the guys had put eggs in my boots or stolen my beret? He would have said:
“Suck it up, princess.”
He would have said that now that I was in the infantry and was in the men's ballpark, so to speak, I had to endure certain things. He would have said that that was the infantry. All of these factors meant that I could not speak up. I did not feel comfortable. My personal mission was to be a member of the infantry, and everything else was secondary.