Again, my name is Rolanda Manitowabi. I'm from the Wikwemikong Unceded Indian Reserve on Manitoulin Island.
I believe this invitation stems from the MRP issues and the testimony that I gave as an individual. Still as an individual, I will share a bit about my work experience and my personal experience as related to violence against aboriginal women.
The cycle of abuse, in my experience and my perception, is insidious, and the impacts complex, and it takes much time to unravel the connections and outcomes. Personally, I have experienced abuse in childhood and in adulthood and have been working for many years towards being safe and out of fear.
I have found comfort, understanding, and validation through people who have understood and listened, such as counsellors, and in programs that I've attended, in healing ceremonies, and through helping in the field of domestic violence as well as helping to raise awareness about the impacts of residential schools, and more recently in my current work in the field of addictions.
Although physical abuse was stopped by my running away in the late 1980s, I found myself later re-emerging in the cycle again, in a relationship that was emotionally, mentally, and spiritually abusive. While trying to strengthen my understanding of cultural teachings, I was being isolated and drained emotionally and financially. My son and I were thrown out of our home in January of 2007, a home that I had financed. I found help through the women's shelter on Manitoulin Island—not on the reserve, but on the island—which provided shelter to us first and then counselling for quite a long time. Through my family members as well, I found support.
I've struggled with the impacts of that displacement as well as prior incidents of hypocrisy in cultural and societal practices. My son has much to deal with as well, but that's for him to share.
As a mother, I am angered and hurt but have come to a time of feeling much more peace, safety, and compassion. It has been a gift to have survived through troubled times to actually enjoy life. By sharing more, I hope we can help others.
I filed a civil case two years after I was thrown out of my home. It was challenging to keep a lawyer, though I did find one a few months after I filed the claim. I wanted to file a civil suit so that I could get back some of the money I had contributed to the construction of the home. For me, it was a stepping forward, for the first time for myself. The ups and downs, the stalling, and the delays were very stressful. Only a year ago, as we started the fiasco of a civil trial, I settled during court.
I look back on the events and impacts now with more understanding of this whole issue of violence. For me, it was or is so ingrained in my life that there are connections to prior impacts of abuse. We talk about the values of respect, kindness, and honouring women, but we don't show it, and I suspect that we really don't believe it. I'm learning to honour myself, and it feels good. It feels new.
Supports to help me take care of myself have been my only way of reaching deeper into my own history and trauma and into greater healing. It's kind of sad that at 48 years old I've only come to realize this. I'm grateful for the feelings of self-worth and for perhaps some things to share.
My work in addictions is in management; however, I am briefed with client progress, the review of applications, and histories of substance abuse and trauma. I'm blessed to see remarkable change through the empowerment of the programs offered. Many others I'm sure had the same effect; however, the sustainability to support that uncovered spirit for many of our women is really needed in individuals, families, and communities.
Support can include programs to build self-esteem and confidence, to increase personal safety, and to enhance understanding of the issues for police and judges. It can include programming resources, not only for shelters, PAR programs, and such for those who have been assaultive or abusive, but also for programs to educate children on what is gender-based violence, on what is healthy relationship-building, and on building role models for kindness, caring, empathy, and life skills. We need to learn to take care of our emotions and to take care of that empowerment.
That's all I have to share right now.
Thank you.