In the very beginning, we only found out that Amy was actually throwing away her school lunch when a friend came to tell us. She was 16. I guess at that point she was on the cusp of being admitted into hospital or not.
I think initially we were so completely naive and green and completely shocked. We have two other children as well. I remember my husband and me lying in bed just crying on each other's shoulders and asking, what did we do wrong? What went wrong? Here are two other kids who are fine and what happened to Amy? What went wrong with her?
I remember taking her to her pediatrician. We were just thrown into the deep end and we were numbed ourselves. We were completely shocked. I remember my husband also charging downtown, actually to where Merryl Bear works, to NEDIC. He googled—13 years ago, I suppose, Google was something new—and he found NEDIC. He came home with pages and pages and pages of stuff. We just sat on the bed and didn't know where to begin. I remember taking her to the pediatrician and writing him notes before we got there so that when he examined her, he knew where we were coming from as parents. I think it took a while for him to actually say to Amy that she had an eating disorder. It even took Amy about four years until she could actually say the word “anorexia”, because she started off with anorexia.
After that, it was about getting a referral. I remember getting a referral to North York General Hospital. I have no idea how long it took to get the actual appointment. I can't remember that, but I know she was really on the edge. She would keep herself so on the edge of not being hospitalized that we never had to get her in at 16 or 18. It happened much later on in her life.
I think the roadblocks are around the help and where to go, looking up people's names and psychologists, and you have to wait and you have to pay. You know, after two sessions we had reached the maximum level at my husband's office benefits anyway. There's also the fact that Amy is 28 and she's not covered under any benefits from my husband's office, because she's over the age of 25 and she's not a student. On her Ontario disability support program, she doesn't have enough money even for monthly living. We're supporting her like crazy.
As far as the roadblocks are concerned, I think it was about just not getting enough help, not having access to the help, and the whole process of a doctor having to refer you and then you wait for the assessment. The assessment comes months after the appointment. It's months before you get into the hospital program. If you get a call to come into the hospital...Amy had such a panic and anxiety attack about it. She couldn't accept the time when the phone calls came. You have to decide literally on the phone, while talking to the secretary. You either accept during the phone call or you don't come and it will go on to the next person on the waiting list.