By the time we had welcomed three little ones into our lives, we knew we needed more space to accommodate our growing family, so we purchased a larger home. Our lives were full and busy. My husband was youth pastor at our local church; we both taught Sunday school and our kids has lots of friends. By the time our fourth child was born, 14 years separated the oldest and youngest. We now had a newborn, an elementary school student, one in junior high and one in high school. Life was busier still and more expensive.
We were still a one-income family, but I was free to volunteer regularly. I collected funds door to door for various registered charities. I had opportunity to serve on various home-school committees like SPAC and PSSC. Staying at home allowed me to be a part of all those firsts with our children: first tooth, first step, bumps and bruises, chicken pox, mumps, birthday parties, sleepovers, first dates, heartaches, picnics, sleep-in mornings and vacations. We attended youth conventions and summer camps with our kids, going along as volunteers and supervisors. We won our first Walt Disney World vacation using cents-off coupons at our local pharmacy, and then we funded our second trip with cash that I had earned while babysitting for my husband's co-worker.
Finances were tight sometimes, but we were blessed with contentment. A growing family and their growing expectations were expensive, but our needs were met, and often our wants as well. We grew our own garden, freezing, canning, pickling and jamming the produce. I sewed some of our clothing. We reduced, reused and recycled even before the slogan became popular. Breastfeeding and using cloth diapers provided us significant savings. My husband's optional workplace benefits were an added blessing. On our one income we financed driver's ed, first cars, orthodontic braces, ski equipment, lift tickets and even some brand name clothing for the kids as well. Our teenagers earned their own spending money, but they did not appreciate my little black book, where I kept an account of monies borrowed, etc.
What a bonus it was when our RRSP deductions were available to be a benefit on those dreaded income tax returns. We purchased payroll savings bonds to help us with unexpected expenses and those needed purchases at Christmastime. At 40 I became a stay-at-home grandmother, babysitting eventually two precious granddaughters. Because of financial circumstances, their moms could not be home with them full-time and could not afford day care.
When our youngest son was in grade 12, I began doing paid casual work at our local schools in the cafeteria and library. In 2006, I was asked to work with a child with special needs. At that time I realized how much I didn't know, so in 2007 I enrolled in an ABA—that's applied behaviour analysis—course at the college of extended learning. Post-secondary education was a prerequisite to entering the course. I had none, but since I had good references from the schools where I had volunteered, that requirement was waived. At 54 years old, I entered a university lecture theatre for the first time with fellow students younger than my children. Perseverance paid off and at age 55 I walked on stage to receive my certificate. At age 59 I was finally awarded a permanent educational assistant position. I had said earlier that I was an early bloomer. I guess I'm a late one too.
As I near retirement, I am considering a job-sharing opportunity. My leaving this position, though, leaves my husband and me with the added financial burden of covering our own medical health insurance costs, no small amount. Because of my late entry into the paying workforce, I have not had time to prepare adequately for retirement in terms of CPP or independent workplace retirement plans. Had my husband not wisely prepared for his retirement, we would be in a difficult position financially as I contemplate leaving the workforce and forgoing my income. Yes, he has his OAS, his CPP and his RRIFs, but where does that leave my contributed portion? I have an OAS, but with my combined allowance of 30 years child-rearing and the CPP I've paid since entering the workforce, I receive less CPP than our medical coverage will be.
I have great respect for those resourceful moms who are able to successfully wear both hats, but is there not something that our leaders today could do to allow kids to be at home with moms who are considered valuable contributors to the well-being of this wonderful land we call Canada? Who better to nourish and nurture our nation's children than those mothers who gave birth to them? Our granddaughter has now decided to leave the workforce to be with her little ones, working a small business from home. I wish her every success and trust that by the time she reaches my age and retirement, there will be benefits in place for stay-at-home moms.
My husband and I have now reversed our roles. I work five days a week and he keeps the house looking good. He's the one to volunteer, making frequent visits to the hospitals and the homes of shut-ins. He assists the pastor at our church. He does administrative work there and holds weekly outreach services. He performs weddings, funerals, baptisms and baby dedications, often for those who have no other church affiliation. He hosts fundraisers for local charities and benefits for those undergoing various medical procedures.
He is a busy community worker, but if my observations are correct, it appears that in our golden years his pension will contain substantially more gold than mine.
Thank you for listening to my story.