There are a lot of things that need to come together. Coercive control needs to be criminalized, because it's not....
Let me go back. When the perpetrator doesn't allow you to leave the house, get a job, see your friends or family or pick up the phone when they call.... Because coercive control is not criminalized, the police will say they don't see any bruises. Somehow, people believe that in order for there to be abuse and domestic violence, you need to be black and blue, 24-7.
That's not the reality. The abuse exists 24-7; you're just not physically black and blue. You're black and blue emotionally and psychologically. Your heart, your soul and your children feel it.
All the actors need to come together. Yes, Quebec has come forward with “Rebâtir la confiance”, and Dr. Simon Lapierre was on the committee. They came forward. Yes, they did the electronic bracelets.
However, when youth protection has somehow been given this immense power, we file criminal charges, but somehow the police are rendered helpless and powerless because youth protection is saying that it's parental alienation and there has to be contact. They're saying that if there's no contact....
We're caught. If you don't leave your abuser, then you're not protecting your children. Youth protection will tell you that if you don't leave him, they're going to take your children because you're not protecting the children. Then, the moment you leave, you need to give contact. If you're not giving contact to the father, now you're alienating the father. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
There was an article in Le Journal de Montréal. I'm sure Andréanne must have seen it, because I send a lot of things to various people. They're called
the “directorate of abusive men”.
In English, that means the director, not of youth protection but of abusive men. That clearly defines exactly what they are and what they do.
All of the actors need to come together. We need to criminalize coercive control, because without it, what makes a man dangerous and able to end up killing his children or his wife is how controlling he is and not how many bruises he's given her. When they feel that they're missing this control, that's when they become.... There's no word to describe them, but that's when the ultimate danger is there.
As long as they're able to control you, fine. With me, he was able to physically get his hands on me and my children. The moment we separated, though, he had to become more creative. He brought in youth protection. He shut down accounts. Because he couldn't get his hands physically on me to hit me anymore, he had to become more....
Coercive control increases at separation. It's there while you're living with him, and he controls your every move, but when you separate, the coercive control increases and he involves all of his enablers.
Right now, by going to the Supreme Court, youth protection lost jurisdiction. There's no judgment that said there's no contact between my children and me. If I'm at an event and my children are there, and I try to go near them, he's going to send everybody else, all of the enablers, to block me.