Coercive control is ultimately a continuum of tactics, strategies and manifestations of violence and exploitation designed to terrorize or dominate the victim and deprive her of her rights. As another witness mentioned, there really is an intention to hide behind that. It's often done gradually and surreptitiously by a partner or former partner. It's also repeated over time.
Once you acquire a clear understanding of coercive control, you won't confuse it with protective behaviour because you see the intention behind it. You don't confuse it with a squabble or dispute. Coercive behaviour sets in over time. It's a process of taking control, not a loss of control, and that control may be exercised in many ways.
We referred to the tool that we use to cite examples, but that's not all there is. A perpetrator of violence will at times use a type of manifestation or tactic, but if that no longer works and the victim wants to take back power, he will unfortunately use another tool in the tool box and, in some instances, resort to physical violence.
A coercive control situation can also arise in a relationship where there's never any physical violence because it won't be necessary. Victims who often find themselves in this kind of situation don't always know they're experiencing coercive control. We've developed a tool for victims, a booklet entitled Ce n'est pas de l'amour… c'est du contrôle. Some victims have told us that, when they consulted the resources and came across the words “domestic violence”, they skipped over them because their partner had never been violent with them and had never touched them. However, it's a eureka moment when they read our booklet.
Every time we contact the media, print or otherwise, to discuss coercive control, we get calls and emails from people who tell us that's what they're experiencing. They tell us that they thought they were losing their minds, that their partner had told them they were overreacting, that they were lying or that they had a mental health problem. Their partner told their family that they were too sensitive. Now they realize that this is what they're experiencing and that their partner is spinning a web around them. Since physical violence isn't always in the picture, it's harder for victims to realize the situation they're in.
The more informed legal stakeholders are in this regard, the more they can play a watchdog role and be able to inform victims. Some instances may not even involve a criminal process; it may be an immigration or family law process. It may involve notaries. It's important for everyone to know that. That's how we make people see what was previously invisible; we do it for the victims.