I'm fortunate to be here today. I'm supposed to be dead. On July 31, 2021, exactly three years ago today, I sent the two-word WhatsApp message “please help” to a friend who, thankfully, believed me. My ex was beating me—all six feet, three inches and approximately 250 pounds of him—because he couldn't find his car keys. For four hours with his fists, his feet, a wooden rolling pin and door wells, he split my head open in three places, gouged my eyes out with his thumbs, kicked my ribs and tortured me in ways I can feel but can't fully describe. I do not know how my body survived it.
My ex enjoyed what he did to me. He threatened to kill my family. The police were going to leave me for dead, but my former neighbour intervened.
After all that, guess what your criminal injustice system gave me? A peace bond. All eight charges, five in the provincial and three in the federal, were stayed against my ex. I can't say his name, because it will forever be known as “alleged” abuse. I ask of you exactly what I asked Justice Himel, who had tears in her eyes on March 26, 2024, when I received the peace bond: Why does he abuse, and why is he allowed to get away with it? He abuses because he is publicly and personally rewarded for it. He is allowed to get away with it because you, the Government of Canada, let him.
Abuse is a choice, a moral failing, and it is also inexcusable. Even three years later my ex is still abusing me. I am suing him as the only form of legal justice I have left. He has put in a meritless counterclaim as a continuation of abuse against me. He states that I was self-injurious and that I stole his Rolex after. He is lying under oath.
You will listen to me because I am Caucasian, educated and a member of an industry that holds space in the public eye, but these issues have been plaguing people everywhere across the nation for so long in the dark corners.
Now we are in the light. We will shine until there is retribution. We will break the stigmas down into the nothingness they are. There are no stereotypical victims. There are only stereotypical abusers. IPV and SA happen in all cultures and in all socio-economic statuses, races, ages and genders, but so predominantly with women and children. Today is not about me. Today is about us and about what this means going forward. You have granted me the honour of speaking on behalf of all men, women, non-binary and children survivors of violence. I want to state from a survivor's perspective that Trudeau doesn't care, Ford doesn't care, Arif doesn't care and the government doesn't care.
The government doesn't care about Courtney Gaudreau, who faced potential charges and jail time for speaking the name of her convicted abuser when a publication ban was implemented without her consent.
The government doesn't care about Brian and Suzanne Sweeney, whose daughter Angie was shot to death along with three innocent children; or about Brett and Jessica Broadfoot, whose daughter was stabbed to death two weeks ago at age 17, leaving behind her absolutely incredible 15-year-old brother Lucas.
The government doesn't care about Melanie Hatton, who fled B.C. to Ontario after nearly being murdered by her ex-partner. She suffers long-term traumatic brain injury, still lives in fear daily with her two children and now owes $300,000 to the CRA because her ex bankrupted her.
The government doesn't care about Tanya Couch, who was sexually assaulted by her former commanding officer and cadets, but the military police failed to investigate it properly. The case was finally reopened, leading to three sexual assault charges ultimately being stayed after the defence used section 278 of the Criminal Code to subpoena seven years of Tanya's personal counselling records.
The government doesn't care about Alexa Barkley, who has suffered multiple SAs throughout her life, with only one of her abusers receiving a mere six months of house arrest for child sexual assault; or about Daniela Halmos, whose ex has been arrested six times and faces 27 charges but is still allowed to go free and, despite her children not wanting it, is allowed to be around them.
The government doesn't care about Sandy Proudfoot, 86 years old, who just finally escaped the abuser who tried to bankrupt her while the police lost her victim statement and nothing proceeded.
The government doesn't care about Cindy, whose infant daughter was so brutally sexually assaulted she had children's toys put up her private parts. Her abuser is not incarcerated.
The government doesn't care about Marlee, who, after three years of going through the courts, felt dehumanized by the process every single step of the way and ended up fighting for restorative justice because the justice system doesn't provide justice; or about Britt Hess, who suffered from the same perpetrator and has experienced multiple assaults, harassment and times of confinement wherein he was charged but then breached his bail. All charges were stayed under his charter right.
The government doesn't care about Julie Macfarlane, who—