Thank you.
I would like to express my deepest thanks to all of you for your commitment to the well-being of Canadian women and girls and for the opportunity to speak today.
I am a physician. My work is predominantly in cancer care. Like cancer, coercive behaviour is rampant in our society, often covert and insidious. It affects women of all races, socio-economic statuses, ages and religions.
I've been in the family court system for five years and counting, with reports of coercive behaviour made by my children and me, countered by false allegations of parental alienation made by my ex-husband. Perpetrators of coercive behaviour not only deny violence; they often distract from their behaviour by painting themselves as the victim. One common method to do so is accusing the mother of parental alienation, or PA. PA is defined as the “wilful attempts by one parent to prevent or undermine a child's relationship with the other parent”.
In April 2023, the UN special rapporteur on violence against women and girls, Reem Alsalem, wrote the following:
...the discredited and unscientific pseudo-concept of parental alienation is used in family law proceedings by abusers as a tool to continue their abuse and coercion and to undermine and discredit allegations of domestic violence made by mothers who are trying to keep their children safe.
Adding to the trauma of alienation claims is the intensive deprogramming therapy in which children are subsequently forced to participate in an attempt to repair their relationship with the unsafe parent. This therapy can be administered in a variety of forms and goes by many names. It can be called reunification, reintegration or reconciliation. Even the words “family therapy”, when in the hands of certain therapists, are a benign-appearing name given to veiled reunification therapy. This therapy is not regulated and has no supporting literature indicating that it is effective. In fact, literature and numerous testimonies from youth outline its short- and long-term negative psychological consequences.
The therapy can be in the form of frequent outpatient sessions. In some instances, children are sent against their will to a multi-day overnight camp, such as Family Bridges in Canada. Some are even trafficked across the border by transport agents to camps in the U.S., such as Turning Points for Families in New York. In her report, the special rapporteur called on states to ban the use of parental alienation in family court and to ban all forms of reunification therapy. Bans on reunification therapy and camps are currently in effect in many American states.
The tactics used in reunification therapy are similar to those used in conversion therapy. Threats, intimidation, verbal abuse and forceful denial of reality are used in an attempt to deprogram youth. Conversion therapy is banned in Canada, yet reunification therapy remains a common “solution” ordered in family court. If it is not ordered, mothers are often pressured into consenting to it for fear that the court will impose a custody reversal upon them if they do not.
As a physician, I find it staggering that the Canada Health Act is overridden and children's consent to treatment is dispensed with in order to force a relationship between a child and their unsafe parent through reunification therapy. Further, children are not being believed and their wishes are disregarded, which violates the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Because my ex-husband was able to convince the custody assessor and reunification therapists that I demonstrated alienating behaviours, my children experienced two rounds of this therapy. I witnessed these therapists dismissing disclosures of abuse by telling the children they were not remembering events correctly, and telling them to forget about it and move on. Excuses were made for the unsafe parent in order to normalize or minimize their actions. Some examples include the following: “Your memory isn't very good when you're emotional; that's not how it happened” or “These are mistakes; Dad was just stressed that day.”
The more the child attempts to advocate for themselves, the more intense and aggressive the therapy becomes and the more the child's behaviour is framed as pathological, disordered, defiant and a manifestation of alienation.
Regarding recommendations, criminalizing coercive behaviour is, in theory, an excellent step forward. However, the law has to be worded in such a way that it will protect mothers who are accused of alienation. Supporters of alienation will work hard to have it framed as a form of coercive behaviour. The consequences for mothers can be catastrophic, as they will be fined or jailed for parental alienation.
If we eradicate the remedies imposed by the court, such as reunification therapy, custody reversals and no-contact orders, allegations of alienation will dissipate, as the allegations will no longer result in financially and emotionally abusive outcomes for mothers and children.
Numerous other valuable changes can be made. Standardized risk assessments should be performed by custody assessors, CAS workers and clinicians involved in these cases. Children's wishes should be respected. Mothers' and children's accounts of abuse should be believed. There should be access to children's lawyers so that children can have their wishes and experiences directly communicated to the court.
I ask for legislation that aligns with the UN recommendations, specifically to ban the use of alienation in family court and to ban all forms of reunification therapy and camps.
Thank you very much for listening.