How am I? I'm grateful to be here. It's been a very long journey, obviously. This has been going on for us since 2007, so, yes, I'm very grateful.
It feels as if people who can do something about it are finally listening. It has been a very long, dark, hard road and it has to change. That's why I personally flew across the country and put myself in a very vulnerable situation: to try to put a face on the harm. I have been harmed. My friends have been harmed, and it's not just what we experienced as athletes. It's the aftermath—what we had to go through in trying to report a literal sex offender.
I think that's the biggest message, from a mental health perspective. Before I wrote the blog, until after I wrote the blog, I was an absolute mess for those 10 years. I didn't understand what the harm was, but now I realize it's the trauma of being gaslit for 10 years—reporting children in danger, with nobody listening, and thinking it was a system that actually cared about me, as a person, and about children.
Since I wrote the blog and connected with other people like Myriam.... You feel isolated. You're the problem and troublemaker. You're by yourself. I think I just feel validated and heard. Even in this awful community, we are now among athletes who have experienced the same thing.
I feel a lot better, despite looking like this, right now.