A lot of the members who are joining, a lot of the members.... Even Mr. Harris was saying he joined when he was 19. My husband joined when he was 19. These are still formable years of learning how to do things in life. You're jumping into a military culture where they're telling you, “This is how you're going to do it. If you don't like it, you don't have a choice.”
All through my husband's military career he heard the words, “sick”, “lame”, and “lazy”. You cannot be sick, lame, or lazy. That sticks with me because I said, “But honey, you're sick. You need help.” He was released in 2001. He was diagnosed with PTSD in 2011. For 10 years I said, “Dear, we need to go get help. There's something not right here.” From a spouse's perspective....
I hear from a lot of spouses, “What should I do about my husband? What should I do? What should I do?” I say, “You really can only take care of yourself and give them examples of what they're doing that does not make sense to you.” You can't sit there and push. It's like the old adage: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.