We also have to consider that our spouses usually face retaliation as well. Even if we're out and we do speak, there is a chance that they get retaliated against. I have five people in my group, and I know that this is what's going on. Their spouses are facing retaliation for it, and they feel bad.
It's something we have to consider when we talk. Obviously, relocating all the time, now that we're civilians we need to find new health care everywhere, new therapists and new psychiatrists, and this is not easy to find. If career transition is hard when you leave, and you get to pick where you live, imagine if you move to Gagetown. You have no purpose anymore, and a lot of times you get pushed to stay at home and take care of your kids. If you've been in the military all these years and you had a different path in life, this is not what you expected. There is nothing wrong with that, but it's just maybe not what was in your blood initially. To report is really a career killer.
Can I just say one thing about what you asked initially?