Thank you.
I want to say, before I read this, that it is not intended to bash any organizations. It is just my personal experience. Thank you for the opportunity.
I first applied for a pension in 1996, only to be denied. My first appeal was also denied. Shortly before I appeared on the cover of Maclean's, 25 years ago this month, I was awarded a small partial pension and told it was because my sexual assault was not service-related, nor was I on duty. It was, apparently, service-related enough for the military to charge me. The issue was rectified after the class action lawsuit, and I was finally given a full pension. However, the onus was on me to write a letter requesting that my file be reopened due to the new guidelines.
I struggled to raise two children alone while working full time, and I obtained my Bachelor of Science in nursing from Trent University before Veterans Affairs ever had a rehab program. For six years, I was kept on the rehab program despite mental breakdown after mental breakdown and suicide attempts. Treatment was hard because, as much as I wanted to get better, as a mother, my children were my priority, not me. My two sons got to witness the constant instability of me, their mom. They were always worried about whether I was going to have a good day or bad day.
I'm doing my best to heal for my granddaughter and to be the example. However, I am getting to an age where she and I like to joke that I don't bounce anymore; I break. Recently, I broke my wrist while roller skating with her, and I was left with the realization that I needed more assistance than usual.
My youngest son lives in another province and my oldest son is an addict. I have been working through my own guilt and blame surrounding the situation, and I'm left with a feeling of helplessness. Even if he wanted help, I could not afford to send him to a treatment centre. I'm not sure how many are equipped for the intergenerational trauma handed down to veterans' children.
Throughout my dealings with Veterans Affairs, I have had good case managers and bad. For 20 years, I lived in a town with a VAC office yet never knew that another veteran lived there, other than the elderly ones I encountered during my nursing career. When I finally met another veteran my age and like-minded veterans, I started to come out of the shell I had put myself in after the trauma of the military, the backlash and the lack of action taken after the 1998 Maclean's articles.
I have had a case manager tell me I was mentally unstable and belonged in an institution while I was in the process of leaving my abusive ex-husband. I have been told I was asking for too much when needing assistance with my nutrition grant. I have had doctors refuse to fill out pension paperwork because Veterans Affairs sent them my whole 492-page file. I used my one-time assistance rule for emergency funding to get my oldest son assistance with his difficulties as a child. While seeking safety and running for my life from my ex-husband, I was hit with the Legion's one-time-only policy and told by a lady from provincial command that I'd made my own choices so I had to learn to live with them.
At the Legion where I lived in 2018, the bartender told me they only help veterans there, so what did I expect? I was asking for the service officer. The service officer then proceeded to tell me to shop around and find another Legion; I was too much.
I have seen many double standards, absurd denials and blaming of other situations, so there is no accountability. I have seen good people give up in defeat because they can't go another round with Veterans Affairs, an institution in charge of veterans that veterans are afraid of or just can't be bothered to deal with anymore.
If I were to, perhaps, lose my sight or a limb, I would no longer be able to attend appointments or get-togethers to obtain the social stimulation a person needs and often finds many barriers to. I have thought of many ideas and solutions for barriers present for women veterans that I couldn't possibly articulate in these five minutes. If the military is serious about recruiting more women, Veterans Affairs has to start understanding that there are different needs for women, especially if a woman was abused and has isolated herself for any period of time.
In closing, healing is found in many different forms, not just in conventional ways. Veterans Affairs needs to realize this is an individual process and that some people don't fit the boxes they have created for them. Sometimes, VAC rigidness and insurance-like attitudes are not what is required. Being accepting and having a listening ear go a long way.
Thank you.