From my personal experience, part of it is that I had to isolate myself. I could not take part in any social events in the forces, because one thing the forces like to do—at least in the past—is that most social events involve drinking, so I could not lose that kind of control in such a way that it was acceptable to lose that kind of control.
As I said, even when I knew it was possible, I had friends who went through that, and it became public who they were. There is just no way that I could endure that as well as everything else. Almost all of them were forced out of the forces within a matter of months, or at most a year. To serve in that kind of poisonous, hostile environment is just unimaginable.
It's not one thing. It's just the fact that it never stops. As a panel member who was here once mentioned to me, it's the endless pinpricks, the endless, endless.... It's not any one big thing. It's just that it's endless, and that's the trauma I'm dealing with right now.