Mr. Speaker, exciting news-exciting news. We have found the 10 most important ethical guidelines for the Liberal government.
No. 10. When in doubt call Paul Desmarais.
No. 9. Little white fibs do not count.
No. 8. Whatever you do, do not get caught.
No. 7. You can fool some of the people some of the time, and all of the people some of the time. And remember, you should certainly try to fool all of the people all of the time.
No. 6. Remember, there is a sucker born every minute.
No. 5. For ethical advice after office hours call JoJo.
No. 4. If JoJo does not answer, call the Prime Minister's imaginary friend.
No. 3. When asked to produce or follow an actual set of guidelines, look either stunned or puzzled or act offended and indignant.
No. 2. Government credit cards, don't leave home without them.
The most important ethical guideline of the entire Liberal Government, No. 1. Remember, when dealing with Liberal contributors or family members, there are no rules.