Mr. Speaker, I am sure most of the House is aware of the upcoming academy awards. A special list of political awards was leaked from Oscar headquarters and here it is.
Best actor in a supporting role, General Baril in his riveting role as a scapegoat in the recent blockbuster Last Flight From Whistler.
For best actor award the nominees are: the Minister of Health for his almost lifelike portrayal of a lawyer as a caring health minister; the Minister of Finance in the Great Houdini and his portrait of a man with his hands in his own pockets while still magically picking the pockets of every Canadian; the Minister of Justice for an exquisite performance in Annie Get Your Gun, a moving story of a young woman, her cat and her fear of rural Canadians; the Minister of Canadian Heritage for a delightful remake of Citizen Kane, remember whoever controls the press controls the people.
And the big winner tonight is the Prime Minister for his Forest Gump-like portrayal of the little guy from Shawinigan. Life is not like a box of chocolates, it is like a monopoly game, and sometimes you are forced to sell your hotel.