Mr. Speaker, this is the story of the Liberal Party and the several dwarfs.
The head of the dwarfs, whose name is Shifty, wanted to retire and many of the other dwarfs were eager to replace him.
One Newfoundland dwarf, named Fishy, was very interested but he had a falling out with Shifty and Fishy left politics.
Then there was this slick Toronto lawyer dwarf, whose name was Oily. But Oily was the author of several policy disasters and Oily withdrew from the race.
The Hamilton dwarf, Scary, is hoping to roll up the rim to win. Lord help us all.
The Ottawa dwarf is Grumpy, and that is his name too. Grumpy recently showed up at a day care and the kids, well, they are in therapy.
Finally there is the shipping magnate dwarf. His name is Richie. Richie is embroiled in an ethics controversy and apparently has entered the witness protection program because no one can find him; either that, or Shifty gave him the Shawinigan handshake and they will never find his body.
But no matter the outcome of the race to replace Shifty, it is an unhappy ending for Canadians.