Mr. Speaker, on October 8 it was reported that a Toronto film company used classified ads to search for “the perfect penis”. The project received three separate grants totalling over $133,000 from the Canadian Television Fund.
Why would the government fund such a project? The answer lies with the Prime Minister and the teachings of Freud. The hypothesis is that the Prime Minister related a search for a perfect penis to the search for the perfect caucus. Not only frustrated by having such a small caucus for a governing party, the Prime Minister suffers the humiliation of having a smaller caucus than his predecessor, Jean Chrétien.
The Prime Minister is distraught over the fact that he could not elect a majority. Worse, Jean Chrétien, a man older than he, brags that he did it three times. If the envy of the predecessor's parliamentary-hood was not enough, the challenges of the passage of the throne speech has created performance anxiety, causing the Prime Minister to order the first two votes of his new Parliament as confidence.
To avoid a crisis we would recommend that the Prime Minister stop popping Velotrin and just accept what he has: a minority.