Mr. Speaker, I rise today to speak to Motion No. 386, a motion that recommends that the Standing Committee on Human Resources, Skills and Social Development and the Status of Persons with Disabilities examine current federal support measures available for adoptive parents.
While many of the laws involving adoptions fall under provincial and territorial jurisdiction, there is one fact that we cannot deny: families regardless of what form they take are the basic building blocks that form the foundation for a healthy and prosperous country. That fact affects all Canadians regardless of where they live in this great country.
By understanding the issues that face our families, we can help develop social policies that allow us to build a strong base that allows families to prosper.
The government has come a long way in recognizing the needs of adoptive parents, and the changes to our human resources service have made it, for lack of a better word, normal to be an adoptive family. Yet there are many workplaces across the country that treat biological families and adoptive families differently: there are different parental leave standards, different benefits, and comments from people who do not mean any harm but who are not aware of the sensitivities of adoptive families.
Many issues are not necessarily tangible, but they form hurdles nonetheless that add to the difficulties faced by adoptive families.
All families have challenges. However, Motion No. 386 concentrates on adoptive families, and if nothing else it brings awareness to parliamentarians and all Canadians. With awareness comes understanding. With understanding comes acceptance. With acceptance we can all move forward together.
When a new child arrives in a family, the emotional and physical stress are often overwhelming. Many know the feelings that a biological family goes through. However, for the rest of the time allotted today, I will concentrate on adoptive families.
Over the years, governments have recognized that regardless of whether one is a biological parent or an adoptive parent, many of the issues are pretty much the same. Financially a new addition to the family will warrant new expenses: the baby's room, toys, clothes, car seats, and the list goes on.
Adoptive families often have added costs that go with the adoption process amounting to tens of thousands of dollars. Creating financial barriers to otherwise capable parents and preventing many parents and children from forming families is not fair to all Canadians and makes it difficult to have good solid families go ahead.
Emotional stress is likely the hardest part of adopting a child. The first step to adopting a child is coming to the realization that one has this option and that one wants to proceed. The reality for most parents is that they have gone through a long arduous process of trying to conceive and have come to the realization that they cannot have children biologically.
This is a very difficult point to come to. Thank goodness for family members and friends who are there to lend support and help the couple come to this realization.
They may decide to live without children and have a life that would be childless. It is not an easy decision for someone who has dreamed of a family with children all their life. Some buy pets in the hope that they will fill the void that is left in a childless family. I can tell the House from personal experience that this does not do it.
So a couple decides to adopt a child. Unlike the biological parents who have decided to have a child, adoptive parents have to go through a home study that examines their relationships, their family ties, and their friends. As well, there is a list of intrusive questions that ask the adoptive family to bare all.
I am not saying that this is a bad process. I honestly believe that this is a necessary part of the adoption process. What I am saying is that it is an emotionally draining process, which, unless one has gone through it, is very difficult to understand.
Another emotional stress that is borne by adoptive couples is the waiting period that takes place between the acceptance of the home study by the province or territory and the actual day that the child is in one's home.
This period can go from a few months, which is highly unusual, to many years, which is more than likely the norm. Once individuals find out that they will be parents and that they have a child that they can proudly call their son or daughter, there is another waiting period.
Domestically, it is normally 30 days to ensure that the biological parents can confirm that they will allow their child to be adopted by the waiting family. Internationally, the adoptive parents often have a long waiting period to confirm their travel date. They often have a photo of a child, all the vital information of the child, but they do not have a set date to travel. We can imagine the anticipation of waiting for that date to come, so that the parents can pick up their son or daughter in a foreign country.
In other cases there is travel to the country of origin of the child, meeting with the child, and travel back and forth before the adoption is completed, often compounded by long stays in the country of origin of the child. This travel back and forth is normally done with the child remaining in his or her home country while the parents are tormented by having to leave their child behind, or to stay at great expense in a foreign land.
I would like to tell the House about an adoptive family who were waiting to travel. They had the picture and the vital information of a beautiful little girl in Hunan, China. The little girl, for all intents and purposes, was their daughter. The couple, as members may imagine, was very excited and waiting for the travel dates. They were out one day and decided to go to a department store to pick up clothes for the orphanage in China. Suddenly, the father felt helpless. A panic came over him. Suddenly, he had tears in his eyes and he was shaking. His wife asked what was going on. She had never seen him like this. He was just incapacitated. All he could say was, “My daughter is thousands of miles away on the other side of the world and I have no control over what is happening to her”. Mr. Speaker, I was that father. My daughter is now 12 years old and I can honestly say that Samantha coming into our lives has been the best thing that has ever happened to us.
Families come in various forms, and as I mentioned earlier, we should assist all families in succeeding, so that we have a strong foundation in Canada based on strong families. The more we know about the issues that affect us on a daily basis, the better we can face challenges that confront us and raise stronger, more vibrant families.
Motion No. 386 speaks to bringing awareness to adoptive families and their needs, and is a good start to help Canada build toward a strong future.