Mr. Speaker, the House thanks you for your hospitality in hosting the annual celebration of the Scottish bard last night. I am duty bound to inform the House of the tragedy that struck.
There are strange things done in the midnight sun
In a night of twists and turns,
Where the pomp and glory tells a story
To honour Robbie Burns.
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The haggis is a glorious sight
Revered by one and all.
The pipes, the toast, what means the most
Is a haggis that doesn't fall.
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But what happened last night, when the toast was done
And the crowd looked on in horror:
Too much scotch? An opposition botch?
And the haggis hit the floor!
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The Cape Breton–Canso kid was on one end
As he held the haggis low;
And then his mentor from Ottawa Centre
Said, “It's time to go.”
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He held it high, the kid held it low;
They thought they would be deft.
It's a warning to all of what might fall
When you veer too far to the left.
The haggis then became road kill;
Those are just the facts.
But one Paul-bearer, was heard to swear
“Let's slap on a carbon tax”.
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There are strange things done in the midnight sun
A lesson the Speaker learns:
Don't give this mission to the opposition
When we honour Robbie Burns.