Thank you so much for having me. It's an honour to be here.
I first want to acknowledge with gratitude that I'm joining as an uninvited guest on the traditional unceded territory of the Secwepemc people.
I am providing evidence in support of Bill C-332 from my experience of working with perpetrators and victims of violence.
To provide a bit of information about myself, I am a registered clinical counsellor with a master's degree in counselling. I'm the owner and clinical director of Currents Counselling, which is a private counselling practice located in the Okanagan and B.C. interior. I support a team of clinical counsellors. My practice is focused on working with couples and families, including those in high conflict. I have more than 10 years' experience working with victims and perpetrators of violence, and I have specialized training in completing violence risk assessments for perpetrators of family-based violence and sexualized violence.
In my experience and training, coercive and controlling violence is often disguised or mutualized. You'll often hear language like domestic violence or relationship conflict, which doesn't identify what is going on and who is doing what to who, or ideas that justify the controlling behaviour. This is language like, “it's in her best interest,” or “she's not good with money,” which then justifies the controlling of the family finances.
Systems and professionals are often complicit in this mutualizing and disguising of the violence because it's sometimes hard to identify. The victim is often pathologized and blamed for the violence and control being perpetrated against them. It can be overt or subtle and covert. The violence is often concealed, and resistance to violence is often minimized and retaliated against by the perpetrator.
Often, the victim can believe they're responsible for the violence. However, when we properly assess for violence, we learn many things about it. We learn that the victim often has insider information about what happens when they resist the violence. When you start to ask the victim questions like, “What would happen if you left the relationship?”, they tend to be able to provide descriptions that reveal their real fears for their safety.
Victims of coercive and controlling violence often have a lot of fear of leaving the relationship. I have an example from a personal client I had the privilege of working with a number of years ago. I've changed her identifying information and I'm going to refer to her as “Tracy”.
Tracy initially attended counselling with her husband, who is nearly 30 years older than her. She's an indigenous woman who, at the time, was in her early twenties, and she was with a white man in his fifties. He was an incredibly wealthy man. When I met them, he wanted to control the narrative for the reason why they were in therapy. The reasons they were having relational issues were that she had trauma and she had a drinking problem.
When I met her individually, I learned that her life was very closely controlled. She had to attend the church he attended. He controlled all of the family's finances. Her movements were closely monitored. She was not able to establish credit or independence, and when she asked to further her education, he created many barriers to this. She had to hold his hand when they walked, and if she didn't, there would be conflict when they got home. She was isolated from her friends and family. There was strict monitoring of her weight and image. He coerced her into getting a breast enhancement, which he paid for and she truly did not want. She also had to dress conservatively and maintain a small physique.
As a response to the violence she was experiencing, her mental health declined rapidly. She was drinking a lot, and at times, while she was drinking, she would act aggressively towards him. When she started to leave the relationship, the retaliation was swift. She was out of town for a medical procedure when he hired a lawyer and was successfully able to position a case to a judge for a no-contact order against her—without her consent.
When she was released from the hospital, she realized that not only could she not go home; she could not see her children unsupervised. Her mental health continued to decline and she got a DUI. She now had even fewer options and had no choice but to return to their relationship.
This woman will navigate this for her entire life unless the perpetrator is held accountable for his actions. There are so many other victims who have to navigate the realities not only of having their lives controlled but of facing real consequences when they try to stand up or take a position.
In summary, Bill C-332 provides legislation to not only offer clear language for what is happening to the victim. It also provides a recourse to support victims' experiences in coercive and controlling behaviour, and it invites accountability for the perpetrator and for the behaviour.