I would agree that we've had a habit over the last 15 to 20 years of using rhetoric as foreign policy. I don't think that is effective, at all.
However, I don't think the reason to cut back on the rhetoric is so that we have more influence. I think the reason you cut back on the rhetoric is that this is not how diplomacy works, and it's not helpful. If we end up with more influence, wonderful, but the point is that it's just bad diplomatic practice for any government to toot its own horn and criticize when it's unwilling to take the same criticism itself. It's just not good practice.