Hi.
I chose to take this chance today to be here for the thousands or maybe millions of people out there who have walked my path and probably much more difficult paths, with no hope of light at the end of that tunnel. I am facing one of my fears, which may not be speaking in public but speaking about a taboo, or maybe just speaking in general. Where I come from, speaking out loud and expressing one's self is absolutely forbidden.
I'm a Syrian citizen and I grew up in Damascus, where I have never been my true self. I always lived the lie with family, friends, and a tight-knit community. I graduated in 2013 as an architect, and I left for Dubai, United Arab Emirates, to start my career, after Syria was besieged by war. In the UAE, it was no better than Syria, and maybe worse. I always lived in fear, never my true self, spending each and every day expecting deportation for being myself and for numerous other inhuman laws. After more than three years there, my partner and I started searching, for months, to learn about resettlement in Canada. We were connected to Rainbow Refugee.
Our application was under process in June 2013 when I was trapped by government officials and put in detention in Dubai. I was kept there for five days without seeing my home or anyone else. My residency permit was cancelled, and I was taken directly to the airport to be deported. Usually that would be to my home country, but I was deported to Beirut, Lebanon, with no expectation of how long I was going to be there.
Members of my circle in Vancouver, Get Syrious, contacted other LGBTQ organization members in Lebanon, who did their best to help me get my life together when I had no place to stay, and no job or income. After six months in Lebanon, our papers were ready and we flew to Vancouver, Canada.
My first month in Vancouver was a relief, yet challenging. I went through very frequent ups and downs, and I'm still recovering from the impacts of trauma. One of the biggest challenges that I realized after five months in Canada was that for a person coming from the Middle East who grew up with a lot of beliefs about sins and impurities, a lot of stigmas, shedding all the taboos and insecurities takes a lot of time.
My life had been a roller coaster, and arriving in Canada felt like the last slope, a sudden fall, a jolt, and then gradually coming to rest. Arriving in Canada has changed the entire direction of my life. Today I'm able to talk in front of all of you about who I am and where I come from. Today I get to be the only author of my own book and write the beginning I want for my new chapter. Today I'm not afraid of being deported for who I am, for being homosexual. Because of this program, I'm not in Syria, fighting in Syria; I'm not in Lebanon in a camp, and I'm not threatened to be killed.
I'm here today as so many people who have arrived here are, and who have yet to arrive. I'm here today to talk about this and to talk about my experience, safe.