It was a slow process for me to come to the realization that what I was doing was wrong. I wish I could give a cookie-cutter thing and say, “This will work for everybody”, but I think everybody comes into a hate group as an individual and they leave as an individual with their own unique experiences and terms.
In my case, I ended up connecting with some filmmakers who were making a documentary about the racist right, and I was part of that film. When they'd interview me, they were starting to ask me questions like “Well, how did you feel about this? What did you think about this? Do you agree with what this other person said?” The questions were about this other scene that we'd filmed. Having a camera in my face and having these people who were not part of the racist movement actually being nice to me, for lack of a better term, and listening to what I had to say made me feel some accountability finally. They made me actually stop and think. Because I was so busy doing things, just having a moment of pause, having a moment to stop and think, really made a difference for me.