We absolutely need to recognize children as human beings.
I think comments about parental authority.... Parents don't lose their authority when they stop hitting children. They actually gain more authority. They gain more respect. We've learned from many studies that when children are punished in this way, they are afraid. They become dishonest and start to distance themselves from their parents. They don't go to their parents when they have problems because they're afraid of them. We need to help parents reduce the fear and strengthen the relationship. In other countries, there has been so much effort put into supporting parents. We need to do that in Canada.
We value families. Families are the centre. Families are precious. I am a parent and I am a member of a family. Families are the source of population health. The ultimate predictor of health is trust and attachment between parent and child. When we start hitting them, we start to erode and destroy that. We need to focus on building attachment, building strong families and building strong parent-child relationships. That's what I do every day of my life.
When parents ask me, “What do I do instead?”, I realize how poor a job we have done if we can't come up with a better solution than hitting. Corporal punishment is the training ground for coercive control. I think we all need to give some thought to the resentment, hostility and anger building up in children that can't be expressed but very well could be when they're caring for us. I think a lot of elder abuse is rooted in the experiences children had when they were young. That comes back to haunt us. We know clearly that children who are physically punished are more likely to bully, engage in dating violence and engage in intimate partner violence.
I will never forget a woman who told me, “When I was a child, my father would hit me and tell me he does it because he loves me. My entire life, I have only been involved with violent men. I've been held captive. I've been choked and strangled because they tell me they love me. I learned very young, when it was embedded in my brain, that violence equals love. That set me on a pathway and has been my entire life.”
We have to come to terms with this and realize what we're actually talking about. We're talking about using violence to coerce children. We're not talking about protection. We're not talking about putting them in car seats. We're not talking about pulling them out of traffic. We do that every day. We do that all the time. If we're worried about that, we should think.
The Supreme Court said on section 43 that there's no punishment of children under two. Those are the children most likely to be hit, actually. We all know why. They are very active and don't have much language. Have we seen a rush into the courts by parents of children under two? Have we seen a rush of apprehensions of children under two? The Supreme Court also said that hitting a child in anger or frustration is now against the law. How many parents are hitting children when they are not frustrated? Have we seen a rush of frustrated parents being pulled into the courts? No.
These are all red herrings. We're talking about a principle. The Standing Committee on Justice and Human Rights needs to understand that we are denying children the basic, most fundamental right to protection. Canada is a laggard. When I work internationally, which I do a lot—