Thank you very much for the invitation, ladies and gentlemen.
Thirty-five years ago, I joined the military as a logistics officer, and subsequently became an infantry officer when the Human Rights Tribunal removed all the legal barriers to the employment of women in combat. I say “legal barriers”, because to think that all other barriers were removed is nothing less than a myth.
I won't go into details about my career, first of all because I wrote a bestseller and all the details are in there. It's being made into a movie, and I don't want to sell the punchline. However, the real reason is that the easiest thing for leaders to do is to look back on my experiences and say, “Well, things have changed. That was then; this is now. We don't do those things anymore.”
I want to talk to you about the reactions to my book, because they are very revealing. I received several hundred letters, notes, messages, texts and emails following the publication of my book Out Standing in the Field. I can place all of this correspondence into four categories, which I will share with you.
In the first category are the letters from women who recognize themselves in my story. Every one of them could write her own colourful chapter about a difficult journey marked by hatred, abuse, and rejection. These letters make me very sad, not only because these things are still going on today, but because almost every one of them begins with a request that I keep their comments secret and confidential. They are afraid to tell their story, still today.
The second category is also letters from women, but these women want to reassure me that my struggles were not for naught. They are thriving in their units, well accepted and valued. “It's not perfect,” they say, “yet,” but they are grateful for the road they feel I and others have paved for them. This category always makes me do cartwheels of joy.
The third category are letters from men who have read my book and recognize that they could do a better job defending women, not because we are weak or princesses that need saving, but because they know that for women living in our country today, a country that is considered to be among the best places in the world to live, harassment or inequality complaints can have devastating consequences. I am pleased by this type of letter, because I see that the next women will have allies to help them meet their challenges.
Finally, the fourth and last category is the one that touches me most deeply. It consists of correspondence from men who apologize for the trouble they caused me. They read my book and recognize themselves in it, even if they weren't named. There are only a handful of those letters, but their authors recognize the harm they did to me and the damage they caused. What is remarkable about those letters is that many of these men are still serving in the Canadian Armed Forces.
Given General Vance's commitment to Operation Honour and zero tolerance, these letters signed by men who acknowledge their guilt could well mean the end of their careers. These letters give me great hope and peace of mind, because I know that these men will be better human beings, leaders, and women's champions.
There is no doubt that the CAF has veered towards making military culture more inclusive, more welcoming and more valuing of diversity, but it's too slow. Veering is not enough. We need a hard right.
Providing a soft landing for those who have suffered abuse, giving them a way of reporting sexual misconduct, and providing counselling services and medical attention: All of that is the absolute right thing to do, and the CAF must stay the course.
Hearing stories of abuse is hard and discouraging, but it's a sign that we've created an environment where victims are safe to come forward with their stories. They can tell them from a place of strength instead of a place of resentment.
We can't change what we don't know. We need now to go upstream and prevent these incidents from happening, and the best way to do that is to change the way men perceive women. We must challenge our paradigms in every sphere of training, deployment and HR policy.
Conflicts and generational warfare have greatly evolved since the end of the Cold War. They are complex, fast-evolving missions that require diverse competencies within the deployed battle groups, some of which can best be provided by women. Having women fully integrated and thriving within their combat teams not only reflects the change we wish to see in these failed states, but it will be instrumental in achieving it, for in these violence-plagued areas of the world where women have been abused, victimized, dispossessed and raped, it makes sense to give them hope of what could be and show them what is possible.
Now, I mentioned earlier that the easiest thing for a so-called leader to do is to look back on what went wrong and correct it for the future, but it takes visionary leaders to challenge what we are doing today and ask themselves if we will we be ashamed of this in five, 10, 15 or 20 years.
Let me give you two examples of what it means to challenge our paradigms today.
The first is Silver Cross mothers. Every year, we recognize mothers who have lost children in the service of our country through the appointment of a Silver Cross Mother chosen by the Royal Canadian Legion. This is a precious and valued tradition, one that enables us to remember with great compassion the grief of mothers everywhere who have lost a child in the service of their country.
The time has come to modernize this tradition to be more inclusive of parenthood. There was a time in our history when child-rearing was mostly left to mothers, and often these same mothers were left to do so single-handedly as husbands left for war. Those were the norms, but times have changed. Although we have yet to reach equality, in our society today fathers play an ever-increasing role in their children's lives, and they should not be excluded when we remember the sacrifices made by parents, all parents.
Appointing only women as Silver Cross mothers demeans the role of fathers and contributes to the stigmatization of those who choose to take parental leave or to be a stay-at-home dad. By the same token, it perpetuates the perception that only women bear the responsibilities of raising children or that their contribution is more important. This hurts both men and women, and it's no longer representative of all families. Now some military members have two fathers, a single father or two mothers. How do you choose? Are any of their losses less worthy of recognition? It's time for Silver Cross parents.
The second example is related to the struggle of recruiting women to non-traditional roles in defence and security in the STEM fields. We all need to invest in teaching young girls that they are limitless in their opportunities.
I volunteer with The Memory Project to go into schools and talk to them about veterans. I stand before these kids, third- and fourth-graders, with all my military medals, my parachutist wings, my military bling, and they are still waiting for Major Perron to arrive, because even today our kids have a certain vision of what a veteran looks like. It seems that adults do, too. The Canadian Mint has issued a number of coins in the last three years portraying Canadian heroes: firefighters, police officers and soldiers. All are men. One ambulance driver, a nurse, is a woman. All of them are white. We continue to perpetuate this image. Little girls grow up to consider mainly traditional fields, and then we wonder why we can't achieve our recruiting targets.
In conclusion, I'll leave you with this thought.
The Canadian Armed Forces are not doing everything they could to further diversity and eliminate sexual misconduct. Sometimes they are awkward; sometimes they try so hard that they trip up, but more than anyone, I know the sacrifices our service people make, and not just on the battlefield.
Every two or three years they uproot their families. They have to find a new school, a doctor, and get new licence plates. They lose friends and long-term equity in their homes. They are far away from their families. Our military men and women deserve not only our loyalty, but also our greatest respect and admiration. To them I say: “stay the course”.
Thank you.
