I have an excellent example of this happening two months ago. I typically don't share, if I don't need to, that I'm a military spouse. I can talk their lingo, first of all. I can tell what they've done, and it's amazing how you can build rapport because of that.
I walked into a gentleman's home. He is 92 and can barely walk. He is very enthusiastic. His wife is a veteran as well. They live together in a cute little suite. I went through my whole spiel and didn't talk about combat at this point. I was about to leave and I saw a plaque on the wall. I thanked him for his service and told him it was wonderful. He was a fighter pilot or a mechanic of some sort. He sat down on the walker I had just provided him with—thank you very much, Veterans Affairs—and he started crying. Obviously this had happened before, because his wife didn't react.
He looked at me and said, “I need to tell you something. I need you to know that a young girl came to him and said I had grieving issues, and she went through this whole spiel about how to grieve properly. I just want to tell you a little bit about myself. When I was in the war, I sat at a table with all these other pilots, and then we went out the next day and half of them were gone. We ate at that table, and then they were gone. She came and talked to me about all these ways of grieving so I could deal with it.” He said to me—and I couldn't have said it better—“I need you to know, and I need health nurses to know”—he didn't know what an occupational therapist was—“that we as soldiers grieve differently. We don't use the same services. We don't use the same techniques as civilians would use.” I looked at him and thought, thank you very much for putting it into perspective.
That is exactly what I am trying to say here. Whether or not health professionals are going in, he didn't respond to it. He had all of it. He was there. He knew it. He heard the techniques. But he said he needed something else that was military, soldier-specific, to teach him about grieving—how to grieve at the age of 92, after losing six men, after coming back from war.
They're still worried about that. If you want to know if veterans who are 80 years old have any kind of trauma exposure, ask them how they're sleeping, because what's going to come out is whether or not they are tossing and turning and having nightmares. I don't want my husband at the age of 80 tossing and turning, so I have to sleep in another bed. Some of these veterans' wives sleep in separate rooms because the veterans cry out at night.
I work with a veteran who is 50 years old. He is incontinent at night because he still has nightmares about being on fire and he cannot get out of his bed. These are things they are still dealing with at this time, but what do we do with that? I don't know.
I just put in an application to do research to seek out information on veteran-specific occupational therapy techniques for mental health, and I'm going to do a full literature review to find out what people are using right now for veterans of all ages. Obviously it's not working. I shouldn't say it's not working, because I know that it is, but there are little gaps, and we need to find them.
I hope that answers your question.