Yes, that's right.
I think it's imperative that this committee have some insight into the experience of those suffering with operational stress injuries and their families. I can't speak of specifics here within the committee, except for my own case, and my story is not unique.
When I was 19 years old, I married a Canadian Forces soldier, and nine days later he was deployed to Kuwait for seven months. The moment he returned from that tour, I knew he was not the same man I had put on the bus. Of the first 24 months we were married, he was deployed for 18. His symptoms manifested with nightmares, angry outbursts, and avoidance. Thankfully, he did not turn to drugs and alcohol as a means of problem-solving.
We both developed poor skills, and our life became filled with tension and anger. It came to the point where I repressed laughter, which was a real indicator for me that something was wrong. During that 10-year period, as I mentioned, neither one of us knew what the problem was, but we knew that something was significantly wrong. Finally, in the year 2001 he was diagnosed. That was 10 years later.
It seems ludicrous to me that someone would sustain a compound fracture of the femur overseas and not have it diagnosed and treated for 10 years. You can imagine the systemic issues, not just of trying to mend that broken bone, but of consequential effects. There might be blood poisoning and systemic infections. I draw that parallel to operational stress injuries and what developed over the 10 years.
During that time we were posted to Edmonton, where I completed my nursing. Two more tours had followed in the course of the marriage, for a total of four tours.
Once he was diagnosed in 2001, the cavalry came in for him. There were psychologists and psychiatrists, OSISS came on board for him, he had social networks and supports, but there was nothing for me as a family member, so I continued using all the negative skills I had adopted during that time.
We finally came to Meaford, with two boys in tow, where I augmented my nursing doing deployment support with the Military Family Resource Centre, and I began volunteering with the OSISS program. That began a huge turnaround for me. Unfortunately, my marriage ended. I was hired as a coordinator with the OSISS program in May 2008, so I've been with the program for a year. My ex-spouse still serves as a reservist, after retiring from the regular force. He's been promoted and he's deployable, and he volunteers with the OSISS program as well.
I've seen in previous meeting summaries that this committee has asked about the children of those with OSIs, so I'd like to share a story with you.
When I separated from my husband, my youngest son was three years old. At the time I thought that...you know, we hear quite regularly that children are resilient. What does he know at three years old? How much was he really aware of? But about six months ago, three years after he wasn't living in that environment anymore, he spent the weekend with his dad. They went through a Tim Hortons drive-through. Dad got him a chocolate milk, as he usually does, and because he's six, as he usually does he spilled it over the back of the seat. His immediate reaction was to freeze, and he waited for the fallout he was accustomed to. His dad turned around and said, “That's okay, buddy, don't worry about it. We'll get you another chocolate milk, and we'll clean it up when we get home.” My six-year-old's response was, “Dad, are you okay?” because that wasn't what he was accustomed to.
A message I'd like to give to you is that the greatest resource for those suffering from operational stress injuries is not Veterans Affairs. It's not DND, and--I hope I have a job tomorrow--it's not OSISS, either. It's families.
Thank you.