It's a life of existence. The joie de vivre is gone. It's trying to get through each day. I have multiple various chronic illnesses: chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, multiple chemical sensitivity—very serious. I had back surgery when I was in the military in 1994, and it went wrong. They treated me as a malingerer, that it was all in my head and that I was just a Gulf War whiner. They didn't treat me for a month. I turned out to have severe osteomyelitis of the spine, of the psoas muscle. It went into the spine. It went everywhere. I was in the hospital for four months. My mother thought I was going to die.
Over and above that, when I told you I had gynecological bleeding during the Gulf War, it continued really badly after I came back to Canada to the point where I had to have blood transfusions. That's how much I was bleeding. Then I was told, “You're cutting your veins. You're just falsifying the blood results.” How dare they? How dare you guys do this? We're sent over healthy and we come back ill. Because I was already so ill in the Gulf, my immune system was shot. I couldn't fight infection. I couldn't fight any of these things any more.
Now I've got gut problems, really bad GI, as they say in the report, these presumptive illnesses that the Americans have come forth with, severe chronic pain, severe chronic fatigue. It's very hard for me to concentrate. You should see my apartment. In just trying to organize for this, it looks like a battlefield. I can't stay focused. The brain is in a fog all the time. It's photophobia. I can't drive at night. My eyes can't handle it any more—