Brad realized the weekend before he took his life that he had a problem. He said to me it was never me, it was him, but he didn't survive that realization. I said this in the board of inquiry, I said this in the interview with the base: you have to find some way to listen to families. This split of the care of the member by DND and the family by the civilian system doesn't allow for any cross-pollination. I knew, and he went for help off and on. It didn't work. My husband had therapy-resistant depression for over 10 years. As I was going through his chart, I laid it all out. Nothing worked. He only knew putting one foot in front of the other.
This strange thing happened with us. Before Brad died, my kids and I were already in therapy. Our life was a mess. After Brad died, the man that my daughter and I go to wasn't a VAC provider, so I pay for my own therapy. They wouldn't allow me to submit a bill. They said once that they would, and then they said they couldn't. I just gave up fighting. I pay for my own therapy. It's covered now because I'm going back to school and I need it to get through school.