When I discovered about my mental health care, I finally had an answer to why my life had been such a challenge up until that point. I went off on my own. I had an experience with a case manager where he tried to get me into his hotel room. At that point, I had completely stopped talking to Veterans Affairs under any circumstance. The only reason I contacted Veterans Affairs again was to assist somebody else, and we'll just leave it at that.
As for my own care, the very first time I went to Veterans Affairs and said, “Hey, listen, I need help,” they put me on the veterans transition program. I was on that program with five RCMP members. Not one of us came out of that program sane. Not one of us came out of that program in good shape. That was the only one that Veterans Affairs recommended and actually demanded that I take. It was not good.
After that, I decided, because I have a.... I love my children. My children have decided they want nothing to do with me because of the damage I apparently have, so I started taking different programs. What I discovered was that, number one, having a program that is mixed, men and women, especially women working with male veterans, I am sorry, but.... In one of the programs I went on, I was the only female veteran. I was physically assaulted once, and I was verbally assaulted by three other men. That was in a five-day period. That is not safe.
I went to a couple of other programs that were not trauma-related. It was difficult for them to understand that I have no addictions. I do not drink. I do not smoke cigarettes. I do not take drugs. The only medications I take are prescribed to me by my psychiatrist. I'm not dissing marijuana and all that kind of stuff, but for me, that was not the way I needed it to be.
One of the biggest and most beneficial programs I ever took was at the Davidson Institute, and there are a couple of reasons. Number one, I stayed in a hotel, and I had the choice to move hotel rooms when I was not feeling safe in one of the hotels. I had my own vehicle, so I could walk away. I had a choice that in the mornings, if I was having a really bad day, I could call in and say, “Hey, listen....” At the same time, they knew what was going on with me. They checked in with me. There was that type of stuff.
They also had EMDR, and they had all the different traditional-type programs. Having a choice and being able to try other types of therapies, which is what their program does to see if anything fits, was wonderful, because in middle B.C.—northern B.C. according to people from Vancouver—there's nothing. It was such an opportunity to be able to do that.
I have been in other programs since, and being able to choose the type of program is paramount. I was told I had to be institutionalized. I was told I had to go into one of those programs where they were going to take away my cellphone. I've worked for five years with my psychiatrist to get my meds perfect. I am very happy that way. Nobody is taking my meds away from me.