To get back to “Bella the Brave”, I guess Bella is my most petite little girl. She's very quiet. She's a scholar and a dreamer and a lover of Johnny Cash music and Elvis Presley, the old things that I guess she listens along to as I listen to my old-fashioned music.
She's kind of an old soul and maybe feels out of place without an iPhone 14 and all these things that everyone else has, but maybe that's what has made her a little different, in that we promote more of these old-fashioned family values in our home. We always tell our girls, “You've got to stand up for what's right and what you know to be true in life.”
Even though she didn't fight back with her fists that day, she came home, and we could see her pain on her face. She slowly opened up to her mom about what had happened and how she'd been shamed. That's brave to not lash out and to hold it until you can speak to someone with wisdom, to seek wisdom from someone who can give you wisdom.
That's how we try to raise our kids: to try not to be too reactionary and try to take the time to listen the other side. When someone's wrong, you look for community around you to help you deal with that. Society has forgotten how to do that. There are a lot of people lashing out on social media and attacking people and not doing a lot of listening.
Bella is brave because she's a small little girl who likes to trap rabbits with her dad and wear sweatpants and go into the woods. It was hard for her to put on that skirt. Sometimes she feels like her skin is a little bit pale to be feeling like a native person, but in her heart she's anishinaabekwe. Her culture and her ceremony give her that, and her ancestry.
I told her: “You wear that with pride. That's where you come from. Your Auntie Farrah Sanderson made that for you, and it comes from all the hard work from your ancestors who worked so hard to keep those traditions alive.”
When we went to the backyard to take the photographs for the newspaper and she put her hand in the air to signify her defiance against this racism, it really spoke to me as well, because in Russian our name, “Kulak”, means “the fist”. That's the significance of the fist, and significance of the skirt is her first nation ancestry.
Together, I guess that's how I showed her how to be brave. You don't have to necessarily lash out to be powerful, and now a little girl from Cote First Nation is pretty powerful indeed.
That's all I have to say on that.